Sunday, July 17, 2011

Summer Depression

Briana Conrad, a good friend, constantly tells me that when I am bored, I should update my blog. The problem is, I am so bummed out right now that updating anything just sounds like a chore. I am doing my best to keep the house in shape, the bathrooms cleaned, the laundry done, and everything else seems like a waste of time.

I'm depressed. I know it. Part of it is summer - it's so hot and I hate the heat, just hate it. I don't want to go outside, I don't want to do anything fun with anyone that requires leaving my house. Silly, but true. And my weight is wearing on me. Still, I know how to fix that. I need to exercise more and eat less. Very simple and yet terrifying difficult to accomplish.

This is not a chipper blog post, Briana, and I am sorry for that. I'm reading YOUR blog, by the way, of all the excitement you are experiencing in France and I am SO PROUD of you! You are spreading your wings and doing a darn good job of it.

Now, if only I could spread these old wings at home and accomplish something other than moping. It's true, I'm moping like a six-year old. Pouting like nobody's business. I'm tired of paying taxes, paying bills, and getting groceries. I'm tired of trying to save for retirement, but not saving too much that I don't have anything to do anything fun right now. But what am I doing that's fun? Nothing at all. So why am I worried?

It's been a hard year, sure, but it's been a hard year for everyone. At least we still have a house, still have jobs, still have electricity and running water and a space of our own. Many families our age do not have this option - someone has lost a job, lost the house, and they are struggling more than we are.

I have to keep reminding myself of this. No matter how upset I am with the way things are going, there are people who are struggling more. So will someone please explain to me why I'm such a big pouter?